It's Been Quite a While, But I'm Starting to Feel Like Myself Again

So, today is November 5 and I just realized my last post was more than two months ago. So much has happened in just that short two months that it's hard to know where to begin.

I suppose that the best place to begin... is the beginning. Conception. What a blessed word! While it's very difficult to predict, it seems that conception came for Chris and I at around the end of July.

After months without success, with nauseating drugs, and with emotional hardships, we were finally able to conceive a child. For us, the positive test was almost too good to be true. We re-ran the stick test two more times before asking the doctor to order a blood test. The good news was that it was finally confirmed that we were having a baby.

It was funny. No matter how many stick tests came back negative, I found myself so overwhelmed with excitement, and nervousness, at the sight of that first positive test. One thing I've learned in these last few months is how one single moment can change one's whole life.

From almost the second week in the pregnancy, I had horrible, horrible morning sickness. I missed some work, spent hours at a time in the bathroom, it was just awful.

Worse than the bad nausea, was the fact that I felt so sick that it was hard to focus on the exciting part of being pregnant - picking out names (like Cyril), shopping for Maternity clothes, looking at decorating ideas, bibs, blankets, bottles...

We had decided not to make any huge announcements for at least three months. I found it hard to live up to that and leaked the news to a few people here and there. Turned out it wasn't much in the way of "news". Apparently, it was written all over my face. Even better, I'm sharing my pregnancy with a co-worker that is just a couple of weeks ahead of me!

By the end of September, I had put in three calls to the doctor about unnerving cramps and really bad sickness. The only help I got was "cramping is normal, just let us know if you see any blood," "well I suppose we can prescribe some medication for the nausea," and "there really is no need to come in this earlier than 8 to 12 weeks."

Finally, the medication provides some relief and the big first trip to the doctor arrives. At this point, I'm a staggering 11 weeks along and I "should be able to hear the baby's heart beat, but sometimes its difficult to locate this early." Floating on air and finally feeling better, I was really looking forward to the first doctor's appointment. The exam went fine, but the nurse practitioner wasn't able to find the heartbeat. "We'll schedule you for an ultrasound next week..."

We went to the ultrasound appointment with even more excitement and jubilation. Little did we know that it would be there waiting for us - that pesky moment.

Of course this particular moment had to be dragged out to an unbearable 20 minutes. "This is only an 8 week old fetus. Let's try from another angle. Yep, an 8 week old fetus." I knew the answer before I asked the question. "Well yes, we should be able to see the heartbeat from this angle... and we clearly don't."

More to come later!